Eva Eller café

تا حالا خیلی ها بهم گفتند امید آخرشون ولی من فقط به اونی لبخند زدم که بهم گفت فرشته ی نجاتش

Sometimes I feel like I don't know her... 

Yk this girl with her eather smiling or emotionalless face... 

 I mean she understands me the most or is just the best actor out of all the people I've  . ever   meet. She always listens to me and never said later or something. possible that she always just says:"aha" or "oui" but she... understands, right? She usually doesn't talk much and.... 

Why was she so upset today? Was it because of me or just...  was it 'cause I didn't ask her if she wanted to join us? She likes to write and dream but... She understands that I don't want to do evrything with her! Or did she remember what has happened in science, she   definitely felt left out then, and I even asked the teacher if we were allowed to do groups of 4. But surprisingly, M told me to ask her first, which of course wasn't necessary at all but... It actually made her smile! Not one of those Paper"smiles"!  No! It was a real Real smile. Her brown eyes where shining as never before, Ik the teacher said no but still I - and her or so I think- felt better. I mean she said these "unnecessary" sentence: "I'm so proud of myself."  which I don't know was meant to make herself feel better or to tell us that she doesn't "need us" ! Either way I didn't reply and she seemed toknow I've heard her, but she didn't do any other  strange things that day. Thinking about it now she knows my whole life story but I don't know... her at all. Like who is that girl I walk home with and seat next to her in class? I know that she loves owls, but evryone knows it. But she told me about that what happened to her in the theater, I mean it wasn't a big deal but it still was a lot for her, the watcher. She doesn't want people to go to her with these "oh my god you are so lonely and left out" face and seat next to her without even asking. Maybe this is exactly why she started hanging up with us. We never went to her and said "oh you little pour friendless thing you can seat with us" she doesn't want Pity she wants understanding, or wait, no she doesn't even want it, she just wants people not to run away. 

این جوریِ که منو می بینی،e? 

من وقتی بچه بودم از مجموع کتابهای "فلیکس" خیلی خوشم می اومد، ولی فقط اون کتابهایی را می خردیم که روشون نوشته بود:"فقط برای تو".

مطمئن نیستم چرا ... 

شاید فقط همینطوری، یا شاید هم به خاطر اینکه تویشان برایم تعریف کرده بود که چه جوری می خواست یک تیکه  ابر برایم بگیرد، شاید هم چونکه نقاشی های از آسمان به آنها، جایی که بزرگترین رویای بشریت ازش شروع شد، بیشتر از بقیه ی جلدها بود، یا شاید هم چونکه همیشه یادم می آورد من خاص هستم... ولی بقیه هم همینطور:)